Has it really been three months since I posted anything here? Boy. I have been busy.
My extended absence has less to do with running out of things to write than it does having too many things to write. Work – both my salaried employment and a bit of freelance work – have picked up considerably over the last few months and really, better to write the stuff that pays than write the stuff that random Indonesian teenagers read (apparently Indonesia has a bunch of narcissists looking for an example). I also continue to languidly plow toward finishing a book; I estimate it will be done sometime before 2032. I’ve also reignited my passion for reading; I’ve finished some half-dozen books in the last two months, and am working on books for class, the Game of Thrones series and a Hunter S. Thompson book as we speak.
Oh, class. I’m taking a summer class because the fall is a nightmare when it comes to trying to juggle class and work. My spring semester class was… interesting. Without delving into too many details, I would like to say that if you decide to become a graduate-level professor, leaving your students high-and-dry mid-semester and expecting them to ‘just figure it out’ is a pretty crappy way to go.
What else? Oh, yes, going to Europe in about a month. Visiting Italy and Ireland, which in terms of food, drink, historical relevance and beautiful weather, may be two of the most diametrically opposed locations in Europe Mrs. Me and I could have chosen. Whatever; Mrs. Me is Catholic – we’re hoping to get a selfie with New Pope – and I am Irish enough that I like Smithwick’s and golf and the color green. Pictures to come (much like Vegas last year) and if you have any suggestions (much like Vegas last year), leave ‘em in the comments.
Oh, and we’re adopting a baby.
(Knew I was forgetting something.)
We’d been on the attempt for a while now and it just wasn’t working. Medical help had reached its logical conclusion without being crazy invasive or crazy expensive, and even the expense was going to push our chances of conceiving naturally to about 30 percent. That’s not very high.
So we thought, “Hey, instead of paying a lot of money to not improve our chances for a natural conception, why don’t we just adopt? That’s got a pretty high success rate.” We’d talked about adoption before, and now was as good a time as any. As the proud owners of two dogs who pretty literally run our lives, I’d say we’re good at loving adopted things. You’ll probably hear a lot more (way more than you want) about this development in the coming weeks and months.
Well, that’s that. Let’s do this again real soon.
Would you like to know what I’ve been up to lately?
Of course not. I get up, go to work, study, maybe sneak in a workout, and go to sleep. I suck. I’m boring. I’m constantly tired, even when I’m not doing anything. My house is a train wreck. My wife hates me. My dog hates me. I have no idea how I’m awake right now, let alone typing coherent sentences, assuming this doesn’t come out in another language.
I had long suspected that this would be the semester that grad school snuck up and kicked me in the balls, so I was ready for that. It doesn’t make the workload any easier, which is crazy because it’s one class, yet I’m also working 55-65 hours a week and planning to continue to do all that throughout November. I reside in a weird haze where I constantly think I’ve done everything yet forgotten something, and then I’ll wake up in another room without being entirely sure how I got there. It’s possible I’ve been possessed by the Devil.
Work has kicked up a notch too, which I don’t mind since it’s, you know, employment. I like having more responsibility and the opportunity to write more at work – and at home as the case would often have it for bigger projects – because it validates my job (the positive) and shoves it the face of every miscalculated ass-nugget who thought sports information would be a dead-end job, creatively, that would have me write the same press release over and over again until I died (also a positive, but maybe I should be a little nicer about it).
That said, I need to be better to my wife and dog and friends and probably myself, since I’m in danger of becoming a tubby lard-ass again. I very much want to keep all these plates balanced for as long as possible, but the reality of the situation is fast becoming clear. Someone’s getting left out on a near-daily basis. My Irish guilt – not just supplied by alcohol, but natural, down-through-the-generations guilt – never lets me enjoy what I’ve chosen to apply focus to in a given evening. When I’m with my wife, I should be working. When I’m working out, I should be hanging with her. When I walk the dog, I should be at the bar with friends. All of it has gotten in the way of doing this, whatever you consider ‘this’ to be. I call it writing for pleasure, and I haven’t done near enough of it. But I need to get back to studying. See you later.
Jesus Christ. April was an awful month.
First, an apology. Look, I hate that it’s been forever since I posted anything of merit (or even that had no merit at all). And despite my otherwise contemptuous nature and deep-rooted assumption that literally no one gives a shit when I post something, being able to have this mind-dump is therapeutic. So in a way, it’s like I’ve been off my meds for three weeks. And for Christ’s sake, if you’ve had to encounter me for any reason, I’ve probably been a jackass to you at some point. I’m really sorry about that, but I don’t do in-person apologies well, or at all, so this is as good as it gets.
It’s not as though anything horrible has happened. I’ve just encountered some severe stress, academically, professionally and personally. Add it all together and there I am pulling my hair out, operating on four hours sleep at times and generally behaving like a pre-rehab Robert Downey Jr.
And I’m not putting it on circumstance; I could probably have prepared better for April. I knew I had a final project coming up for graduate school and I knew that we had a tennis tournament and I knew we could win that in addition to hosting it and I knew there was potential for working three sports in one day on occasion. Hell, I like that last one most of the time – I’m at my best when operating under the more stressful conditions, or as stressful as a job that allows you to watch sports and claim it as ‘doing my job’ can be. It just so happened that this time, I spent a lot more time working on the things I had to work on – you know, work and class – than the things I like to work on (i.e., dicking off and writing nonsense).
And if you’ve called, or texted, or smoke-signaled, I’m getting back to you eventually. I may have tried, and you may have called back immediately only to find me unresponsive. I budgeted my time just so and then, upon hearing nothing, I moved on to the next task. I try to be an efficient prick. Again, sorry about that.
Anyway, with the onset of summer, I’ll be writing both long and short, here and at Clarksville Sports Network if you care about the Braves or want to support me in my never-ending quest for reasons to watch baseball every day and get paid for it. I’ve got a lot of shit planned for this summer – mostly drinking, gambling, leading Mrs. Me into temptation and convincing her to let me tell the best stories here and not only after she’s had eight drinks – and hopefully you’ll get to hear about most of it. For now, enjoy this video of a monkey and a dog fighting over a bit of rope.