A look at the least important things in life

The Screwdriver Diaries, Vol. 3

(Note: the following was written on Wednesday, June 26, 2013)

I’ve been cut off from social media for almost 48 hours now. Obviously, I have some mixed feelings about the whole thing.

If you have never been isolated from the outside world – no Twitter, no Facebook, very little email contact – then you have no idea how empowering the idea can be. The day suddenly stretches before you. I haven’t felt this isolated from the outside world since my B.IP. (Before IPhone) days, and frankly the whole thing is a little liberating. You can become slave to the concept of social media, and I certainly fall prey to that the same way any ‘young professional’ (I HATE that phrase, and I can’t stand it when people drop the ubiquitous ‘Y.P.’ in casual conversation but I am what I am) who enjoys seeing what everyone else has to say about a given subject can. I can write; I can gamble; I can read; I can drink. And I don’t feel compelled to tell anyone about it.

It’s nice that I haven’t spent the last two days constantly staring at my phone; I know Mrs. Me is happier that way. She hates that I enjoy the world of Twitter so much, which is odd since she’s going to rush right out and upload 721 photos to Facebook the instant we reach the mainland.

Of course I want to use social media (I feel like a drug addict talking about his desire to ‘use’). I like social media; I hate feeling cut off from things. It feels like I’m missing out. New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez got arrested today; I blogged about that last week. I want to see everyone’s reactions and make horrible jokes and see which columnist goes WAY over the line, because it’s going to happen and I’m going to miss it. I’m going to miss one of my favorite Twitter days of the year, the annual NBA Draft, where people make wild declarations like, ‘I’ll be shocked if Demar Derozan doesn’t become a superstar,’ because hyperbole is the currency of Twitter.

(I will also miss three Braves games this week, the first three I will not see a pitch of this season. I’m not pleased at all about that. Thankfully, I recorded the Chipper Jones retirement ceremony.)

(Post-vacation note: Suuuuuper-pissed that I missed one of the more wild, entertaining drafts in recent years. Anthony Bennett at No. 1 overall? Hahahaaa.)

And being cut off from work can be a mystifying thing from someone in my position; this is the first time I’ve ever gone on vacation while employed. I don’t like it. I feel like I should be calling to check in, but I can’t, and I feel like I should send an email to see how things are but I sat in Margaritaville looking at emails today and with the massive amount of people hogging the free WiFi (the selfish bastards!), I couldn’t load more than half and couldn’t send anything to anyone. #FirstWorldProblems (did I do that right?)

I think what you’d call this is a ‘natural fun’, an enjoyment you can have without having to share it with other people instantly. Of course, just like she’s going to put up photos of everything, I’ll be posting blogs and getting caught up on social media and checking and sending emails. We’ll still be sharing, just in a big delayed clump that’s likely to annoy friends and loved ones, same as most of our in-the-moment sharing does. I’ll miss thee, land without social media, but not as much as I miss seeing pictures of kittens with surprised expressions on their faces.

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