A look at the least important things in life

Movie Trailer Tuesday: jOBS

Due Out: April 19

Every once in a while, there’s a movie that comes along that you’re expected to see. Recent examples include Inception, The Hangover or even The Dark Knight. If you remember those times, people were OUTRAGED if you hadn’t seen either of those within six months of release.

Originally, I assumed that jOBS – the biographical account of Apple mega-genius Steve Jobs’ life – would be somewhat similar, and it may be anyway. But the more I read about both Jobs and the film in general, I become more concerned.

For starters, it’s difficult to reconcile the image of Steve Jobs – mercurial, short-tempered, a perfectionist to the nth degree – with the specter of Ashton Kutcher, a likable, goofy dude. I don’t understand how Kutcher got the part of Jobs, unless someone at Open Road has been watching too many Nikon commercials and believes Kutcher actually is a tech guru. And Ashton Kutcher really doesn’t look like Steve Jobs; sorry.

Also, is there really new ground to be broken on Steve Jobs? Visionary, yes. Genius, almost certainly. Pioneer for the way of life in America as we know it, unquestionably. But I highly doubt we’re going to find out he smuggled orphaned Thai children into the country or discovered a new number. He made really cool gadgets, and he was kind of a dick. Really, it seems like there’s nothing to see here.

The early reviews haven’t exactly helped. The tepid review from the Sundance Film Festival (“[Plays] like a two-hour commercial for Apple” is a pretty damning opening line) did nothing to really add to excitement.

More than anything, the lack of an actual trailer – featuring real movie clips – makes me concerned. Is this really going to suck? What are they hiding? And really, how did we decide that Steve Jobs made for a fascinating human? Genius doesn’t mean ‘make a movie about their life’; I don’t recall a blockbuster motion picture about Albert Einstein.

Keep An Eye On: Josh Gad – a guy who probably should’ve had Jonah Hill’s ‘bumbling, tubby funny guy’ career and, now that Hill’s lost all the weight, he can probably stake a claim to the title anyway – as Steve Wozniack. You may recognize him from 21, and really that’s just about it.

Burning Question: How does Apple wind up making another bazillion dollars off of this?

Reminds Me Of: Probably nothing, unless it’s the long-lost TNT movie Pirates of Silicon Valley – Anthony Michael Hall played Bill Gates and Noah Wyle played Jobs. It’ll be pretty embarrassing if Noah Wyle makes a better Steve Jobs than Ashton Kutcher. Also, The People vs. Larry Flynt could be a comparison just because of the ‘showing the hardscrabble rise to success’ angle. Probably less naked people in jOBS.

Theater, RedBox or Skip It: Since I sat down and started writing this, I’ve kind of talked myself out of seeing it.

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