A look at the least important things in life


Movie Trailer Tuesday: A Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swann III

Due Out: Feb. 8

I would typically try not to pan anything that reads “Directed by Roman Coppola” (The Darjeeling Limited, Moonrise Kingdom) and starring Bill Murray and the underappreciated Jason Schwartzman (I Heart Huckabees, Funny People, as well as the owner of one of the most Jewish names in Hollywood, despite his non-Jewishness). They are serious people with serious acting/directing/writing chops, and we would all do well to take any project they deem worthy of undertaking to be serious.

Then you go out and put Charlie Sheen’s mug out front and center and the whole perception changes. I refuse to take these people, and this movie, seriously and neither should you. That doesn’t make this a potentially bad movie (although I suspect it will be); just not one that should matter.

Since this movie looks like it’s going to play out like an unauthorized biography of Charlie Sheen’s life (I’m thinking the Denise Richards years and subsequent fallout), I just hope they go all the way with it. I hope this movie breaks the fourth wall and ‘wink-winks’ its way through a series of public meltdowns, bizarre television interviews and everything else that’s gone with the Charlie Sheen experience the last couple of years. It would make for a solid movie – there was a time where Charlie Sheen was the most meme-able thing in the history of the internet. But is there any way the fictionalized version of Charlie Sheen’s life could be as interestingly crazy as the real thing was for about eight weeks in 2011?

Also, are we sure that Charlie Sheen is physically or emotionally capable of carrying a movie anymore? He melted down and out of Two and a Half Men. His new show on FX, Anger Management, will never make the 90 episode order it picked up in August – Sheen will meltdown, die or interest in the show (not that fantastic) will just fall off. He hasn’t played a movie role more extended than a cameo since 2003, and that was in Scary Movie 3. Sure, I’d like to live in a world where Charlie Sheen and his bloated liver and copious drug problems make up a box office movie star. But I’m a bit more than dubious.

Keep an eye on: Someone named Margarita Kallas has a role as Josephine in this flick. I’m willing to give anyone named Margarita a chance or two.

Burning Question: How has Charlie Sheen spent the last decade exclusively playing people named Charlie? Is he so drug-addled he doesn’t remember other names, or is that something stipulated in his contracts? It seems like a great way to remember your character; I’d just really like to know how he got this deal.

Reminds Me Of: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas combined with Two and a Half Men multiplied by I Love You Man. I like about half that combination.

Theatre, Redbox or Skip It: I’m not paying good money for this at all. That said, I probably wouldn’t leave the room if this movie started playing, and I would believe anyone that told me it was fantastic. Lot of different directions this one can go.


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