A look at the least important things in life

Movie Trailer Thursday: The Bourne Legacy

I’m fairly particular about what I read. I read a lot, usually stuff that sounds interesting or has been recommended to me by someone. However, more often than I would like to admit I’m influenced by the words “Based on the Book by…” when they appear on a huge movie screen.

At that point, something in my brain begins to pop. Endorphins flood my body to the point that I can barely sit still. I almost forget to watch the movie because I can’t focus thanks to my brain screaming, “I MUST READ THIS!” over and over. What can I say? It’s my nature. As soon as I watch a movie based on a book, I almost feel required to read said book. It’s my own little homework assignment.

Unfortunately in the case of the Jason Bourne spy novels/movies, there’s literally no connection.

If you haven’t watched the movies or read the books and want to, just don’t. I’m addicted like heroin to both, and they couldn’t be more different. The movies have no correlation to the books they are supposed to be based on and they crank out a new book every month it seems, so obviously I have to buy it and it’s just a vicious cycle. That whole sentence made me hyperventilate; I just had to breathe into a brown paper bag.

The new movie (The Bourne Legacy) doesn’t even feature Matt Damon’s original incarnation of Jason Bourne! It’s some new guy (played by Jeremy Renner) with a handful of the old characters and not even a seam of the plot featured in the book by the same name.

Believe me when I say this: the disconnection between the movie and books is massive. This isn’t “getting some of the details wrong”; all the details are wrong. This isn’t apples and oranges; it’s apples and weapons-grade plutonium.

I hate that I’m going to watch this movie. I hate that I’m even acknowledging its existence – there’s no reason this movie should get made without Matt Damon attached to it. I’m depressed about how much it’s going to suck. I wish I could get some of Bourne’s amnesia and forget but oh wait, that’s not a plot point because there’s no Jason Bourne in this movie! I hate Hollywood sometimes.

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